All young children are developing the social skills that enable them to play cooperatively with other children and to function as part of a group. Often when children "misbehave," it is because they haven't yet learned the skills to negotiate, to ask for what they need, or to join in play with others, without grabbing, pushing, or hitting. Children are still learning cause and effect regarding how their behavior might impact others.

Behavior at ICC is managed by providing children with clear expectations about what behavior is acceptable and by encouraging, with positive reinforcement, those behaviors that are valued, while downplaying those that are not. Consistent limits are established and group cooperation is emphasized. Corporal punishment and humiliation are never used. Logical consequences are established for behaviors and positive guidance techniques are employed to reinforce them. In the case of a persistent problem with aggression, disruptiveness, verbal misconduct, social withdrawal or social submissiveness, we will inform the family of our observation and will work together on a collaborative plan for helping the child.

It may sometimes become necessary, as a last resort, to remove a child from his/her peers for a short period of time, if disruptive, aggressive, or unsafe behavior persists. Children are asked to "take a break from other kids" until they are ready to rejoin the group and remember classroom agreements. The child will be asked by a teacher to talk with her about what happened, what s/he is feeling and wanting, what the other child(ren) might be feeling and wanting, and what s/he could have done differently to solve the problem. The child then will be encouraged to offer his/her ideas with the other child(ren).

We encourage the children to work out their interpersonal conflicts with each other for themselves by helping them to identify the disagreement issues and collaboratively generating possible solutions until one can be agreed upon by everyone involved. To be more respectful of the children's processes and relationships, we strive to refrain from prematurely offering teacher-dictated solutions or negative consequences when disputes arise. We prefer to simply listen to children talk out their problems and, if needed, mirror their understandings and ideas back to them. We may need to take a more active role to help the children find appropriate language, voice level, and demonstrate behavior to communicate the needs and issues of the conflict.

*** All these rules apply to all Staff members and volunteers ***

The specific goals of the teacher in assisting children during conflicts are to help children to:

  Calm themselves down enough to negotiate.

  find words for their feelings, needs, and wants.

  listen to others feelings, needs, and wants agree to a mutually satisfying solution.

   continue to play together or feel friendly and understanding.

Our goals are to foster in children competence in negotiating and resolving problems they encounter and foster awareness of themselves as able, caring, resourceful people when faced with conflict.